Sunday, December 11, 2016

LIFE AFTER PORN PROJECT: What's life like one month... ten months... four years after you're off porn?

Image result for cairn zions on hiking trails
(photo credit: US National Park Service)

We're spoiled, living in Utah. We can wake up in our own beds and before sundown be relishing the serenity of a desert canyon hike. One of Jenny's and my favorite destinations: Zion National Park.

On some Zion hikes, there's no mistaking whether you're on the trail. In the narrows, The canyon walls on both sides help ensure you'll arrive at the Temple of Sinawava. And as you can taste just a bit here, you'll be so glad you did!

But staying on other trails can be challenging. In more pristine areas, there's not enough foot traffic to wear a rut in the sandstone. You could get lost among the hoodoos and fairy chimneys.

Fortunately, there are cairns, little stacks of rock like the one pictured above, marking the trail and showing the way. Many a time, I've gotten so caught up in the amazing scenery that I've wandered right off the path. It's quite a moment, that drop in the gut once you realize you have no idea where to walk next. Nothing in the entire orange and blue panorama to provide any sort of guidance. Yikes!

It may take a minute of looking around... Then, ahhh, what a great feeling! A cairn up ahead or way over to the left. You'll be able to get back on track and eventually back to civilization. The lift of the heart then more than makes up for the drop you felt moments ago.

I have "uh oh!" moments at work, too. Last Wednesday afternoon, when I talked to my new client, Kyle, 22, who can't yet string together three days without porn. My heart ached for him, as it did when I got an email from 27 year old Alexei, who hasn't tasted a porn-free month since he was 11.

But then I remember: all these men I know personally--and even more through this blog!--who have been off porn a month. Or more! And they can describe for Alexei and Kyle exactly what it's like much better than I can. The entire mix: the benefits and the angst, the sour and the sweet of it.

So please, if you've been off porn for a month plus, comment below about what life's like for you now. One sentence. Or a paragraph. If you have even more to say, I'll publish it as a post. Email me: mark@suncrestcounseling.com.

Your experience will give Kyle, Alexei, or someone else who's a bit confused--or completely lost--a point of orientation. Don't underestimate your contribution. What you write today about what you've noticed in your life might be the very cairn that gets seen by someone right when they're really in need. It might help them get back on track and keep going.

And then, ahhh, what a great feeling that will be to both of you!


1 comment:

  1. I will probably write an email to Mark that he can post on this blog. But I just want to say, I've been there and done that! I can remember the despair, hurt, shame, self-loathing and all the other awful negative emotions that I felt for years and years. I just want you fellow sufferers to know that being clean feels AMAZING! The #1 benefit is I finally do not have that fog in my head, you know the one I'm talking about. And the #2 benefit is that I finally have HOPE! Look for my post later... Charles

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