A Sexy Incentive to Abstain from Porn

Many of my clients have found porn to be addictive, but are trying to kick the habit because it violates their values and morals. They list as incentives for quiting things like "my wife will trust me more," "I'll be a better role model for my kids," and "I'll be in the driver's seat of my own life."

Unfortunately, when cravings get intense, their resolve to give up porn because it's the right thing to do softens. In the cold light of day porn porn seemed so wrong, but in weaker moments it feels so right.

I've been impressed by the reinforcement these folks can gain from an entirely different avenue of incentive. For many, the facts about what porn can do to their sexual vitality seem to be just the additional weight needed in such moments to tip the scales and avoid relapse. And it makes sense: since there are times when sex becomes more salient, why not consider data that carries weight with the desire-driven brain instead of relying solely on moral reasons for abstaining from porn?

This TED Talk by Gary Wilson, "The Great Porn Experiment," is a relatively new resource that examines the effects of internet porn on consumers. (Erectile Dysfunction in young, otherwise healthy men is the most striking one, but the breadth and depth of distressing side-effects will amaze you.) He adds credence to his case by showing how abstaining from porn ameliorates these symptoms. Gary is an engaging teacher. The slide show that illustrates his talk drives home his points superbly. Although he has lots of fun with the topic, his big heart shines through and his deep care for men stuck in a porn rut is unmistakable. He provides just the advice and hopeful future vision they need. Viewed half a million times already, his talk has become an invaluable resource for puzzled porn gluttons and their lovers throughout the world.