Don't Relapse! (But if You Do...)

Here are 3 tools I often give clients as a packet to complete as soon as they can after relapsing. Some people just use one; others find it helpful to do all three. They can help you break down your last relapse, see it more clearly, and give you some good momentum for preventing the next one. 

Here's an even better idea: why wait for a relapse? You can also use them to get back on track after a close call! 

Give these exercises a try and let us know if they help.


Exercise #1: Retrace Your Steps

Use these codes to categorized each numbered item in the sequence: H = What Happened, D = What you Did, T = What you Thought, F = What you Felt emotionally, B = What you noticed in your Body

1. What I ended up doing... D:


2. and before that...


3. and before that...


4. and before that...


5. and before that...


6. and before that...


7. and before that...


8. and before that...


9. and before that...


10. and before that... (continue as long as it's meaningful...)



Sample Retrace Your Steps from Derek

1. What I ended up doing: D: Looked at porn on my phone

2. and before that... F: Was tempted to find porn

3. and before that... F: Overwhelmed, worried about how behind I am on school assignments

4. and before that... H: Weekend ended

5. and before that... D: Watched a lot of TV

6. and before that... D: Put off doing my homework

7. and before that... F: Frustrated that the essay isn’t perfect, can’t seem to get some of the wording up to my satisfaction

8. and before that... D: Worked on my essay

9. and before that... F: Excited, enthusiastic

10. and before that... T: I’m determined to get better grades this semester

(Before completing this exercise, Derek would have never suspected that being determined to get good grades would be a part of the sequence that led to his relapse.)


Exercise #2: Mental Redo

Part A. At what point(s) could I have changed courses? What could I have done different?

1.


2.


3.


4.


5.


Part B. Mentally practice 5x interrupting what I actually did and taking the path(s) above instead.

What do you notice as you mentally run through taking these other, better courses?


Exercise #3: Letter to a Friend

Imagine one of your friends just did what you’ve done and has the exact feelings you do right now. Write them a note, starting with “Dear ________”. Offer encouragement, your perspective as an outsider, and anything else that will help them to keep the problem in proportion. Remind them of what good people they are and how much they have to offer. After you've finished, read below for more instructions.*

Date:

Dear ______________,













*Only read below after you’ve completed the letter:
Now, cross out your friend’s name and insert your own. Read this “letter to yourself” with an open mind.